I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me.
Just was looking outside at the pigeons. Imagine if they had lives like us. They grow up and go to Pigeon school, they’re taught how to be fat and ugly looking. Then they decide whether to learn the details or being fat, or going into fall time work for being fat. They meet some other pigeons. They fall in love with a pigeon but this pigeon has eyes on another pigeon. Another pigeon who looks exactly the same but somehow is more attractive than the original pigeon. They just go along with it, until they are like “Coo” to the other pigeon so they reply with “coo”. This whole ‘high school’ phase passes and the pigeons do fall in love. Thy get married and have children. They feel like they are owed some free time from constantly looking after the baby and working so they decide to go out once a night and have a fancy meal out. They sometimes go to the movies, and they sometimes just have a good night out with lots of partying and raving. But most of the time they just eat. They come home, and pay the babysitter. They grow old and their baby grows up and falls in love and the whole cycle starts again. This is how I think pigeons live.
Times when it is okay to make comments about my weight: